Friday, April 20, 2012

I have discovered that if you don't have time to go for a walk or a drive in the country or something like that, a great way to just chill and think about things, even if it's for 5 minutes, is to soak in the tub.  I can get a little philosophical, you might say, about things at times.

Today, I was thinking about motherhood, college, and careers.

I am not now, nor have I ever been much of a career-oriented person, driven to get to the top of the company as fast as I can to make as much money as I can.  If that is your goal in life, fine, but it's not mine (afterall, I'm talking about me right now).  I have always just been perfectly satisfied with doing any job that I am able to do (and doing it well) and enjoy doing that job.

When I was in Kindergartern and asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I probably gave the interviewer a few things (mommy, auther, veterinarian, teacher, etc.).  When I was asked the same question in middle school, I think I said day care provider and/or teacher.  My senior year of high school, I said Preschool teacher, and I set out to do so.  As the end of my education at a community college drew near, I toyed with various ideas (4-H, desktop publishing, photgrapher, etc.) because I decided I didn't want to be a teacher, and I decided to switch to Agricultural Education to persue a career with 4-H by working at an extension office; I still wasn't quite sure about that either though.

The summer between community college (my only year of college that I didn't have summer classes) and the university, I toyed with the idea of not continuing my college education.  I recall my oldest sister telling me that if I didn't continue with my education, I would have to find a job somewhere and move out of my parent's house because I would be a working adult and couldn't live with Mom and Dad forever.  She also told me not to stress about pursuing a career in whatever field I chose because lots of people get college degrees for things they never use (ex: I know a carpenter with a degree in Literature).  This wise  grasshopper (sister) also told me that pretty much all you get out of college is how to think because most of what you need to know for your career is taught on the job.  To this day, I still think about what my sister told me; when I get to thinking about how I think the money I spent on college was a huge waste, I remind myself that I learned how to think for myself (expenisve thing to learn, huh?).  I did have some college instructors that didn't like when I questioned/challenged what I had to say, but I could see others look at me with a smirk on their face because they were happy about it.  I have learned though that sometimes in life you just gotta tell people what they want to hear and move on, rather than stir up a big mess just because they don't want to hear the truth; in those kinds of situations though I just try very hard to keep my mouth shut, or I just end up telling them what they don't want to hear (the truth).

Going back to what I was saying... I really wasn't sure what I wanted to do for a career.  The reason?  All I've ever really wanted to do is be a mommy.  You can't tell people as a high school senior that.  When your little and say that, people think it's cute, but if you're an adult (or getting there), they just think you're crazy or something if you say that.

Why is that?

Women having a career really is a relatively new idea.  My grandma and her mom (and her mom's mom, etc.) didn't even really have the option of being a career woman, not if they were going be a mother anyways.  Now that women have the option, if you don't know what you want to do for the rest of your life you are considered a slacker by some, and if you say you just want to be a mom, it's considered realistic.  That's just nonsense because there is room for both!  Girls, it is okay if you just want to be a mommy.  It's okay if you want to "break the mold."  That's one great thing about this country today... women have the option to work (if they want) and to be a mom (if they want).

Take me for example... My first job is as a mom and wife, my second job is whatever career I have chosen.  Currently I work part-time as a secretary.  I love being a mommy and wife!  I also really like the job I have.  I enjoy the work that I do for a living, and best of all, I currently have been blessed with the flexibility to bring YY to work with me.  (I'm lucky because so many don't have that option)  Afterall, YY is the responsibility of M and me so we should be the ones raising him and making all the decisions about how he should be brought up, not daycare.  Lets face it, by sending my child to daycare I get that person in charge (or persons) the power to make decisions about how to raise my own child.

Some examples: You may prefer to read books with your child, over watching TV, but if your daycare finds it easier to let children watch TV, your child learns to watch TV rather than read.  You may resort to a swat on the butt when a child is behaving outragiously, but daycare might just try "talking" to the child (i.e. lots of warnings but no action) repeatedly when they are behaving in a way that they shouldn't over and over.  Personally, I think imagination is one of the best things a child can develop, and parents should do everything possible to encourage it.  That is why I'd much rather give YY a pan and spoon to play with (when he's bigger) over a bunch of toys, despite how "great" they are.  (Not to mention we don't have the space for a bunch of toys)  How many toys do you have in your house right now that your child doesn't play with because they prefer to play with the empty shoe box?  I've heard my sisters talk about this a lot reguarding their own child.

Anyways, there is plenty of room for education, career, and motherhood without it effecting the most important role, motherhood.  I am fortunate to have the best of both worlds... I get to be with my baby every day and make money at the same doing something that I enjoy.   

Lets face it, YY's good looks doesn't hurt any.  Everybody wants to hold him and squeeze him and talk to him, and the little old ladies (and men) that come into work every day can't get enough of him!

Ladies... In a nutshell, don't be ashamed if all you want to be "when you grow up" is a mommy.  :)  Afterall, I truly believe the best years of one's life is when they marry; most start a family (not all), but the best part of it, whether you have children or not, is sharing your life with someone that you love.

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